Therapists explain: these are the signs of an unhealthy relationship

signs unhealthy relationship

These are some of the red flags to look out for

Not every relationship is perfect. It couldn’t be; when two different people come together for a longer period of time, there are bound to be some issues. But some of the things you and your partner do might indicate a deeper issue. According to couples therapists, these are some red flags that indicate an unhealthy relationship.


Some of these issues can be spotted when you analyse the way couples communicate. If you’re yelling at each other that you’re “NOT YELLING!” you might have some communication issues. But communication is also about honoring other people’s boundaries and their opinions, needs and values. If someone keeps crossing your boundaries or doesn’t know how to communicate their own boundaries, that is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. That includes not listening to people, gaslighting or just disagreeing with someone for the sake of disagreeing.

Co-dependency or independence

If someone is literally stuck on you, they will want to be with you all the time and rely on you for everything. Both emotionally and financially. That is considered a red flag. But the complete opposite is also considered a red flag; when someone makes big decisions without you and never consults you when it comes to important stuff, that is also a clear sign.


Fights in itself aren’t necessarily a red flag; sometimes you just need to argue about something. But the way you fight definitely makes a difference. When you make the bad stuff into a competition, something is definitely wrong. Like when they did something you didn’t like and you decide it is your turn to do something they won’t like. If you’re just trying to get back at each other, something is definitely amiss. Another red flag is the tendency to make everything into an argument. Some things should be discussed but little things don’t always mean that the other person is out to get you. If you tend to let things escalate a lot, then you might not be in a healthy relationship.

Other things

Some other red flags are controlling behavior (wanting to know where your partner is at all times), when the in-laws are too involved in the relationship (they call their mother to help decide on everything), trying to change someone’s personality because you don’t like it, and when one of the two people in the relationship is completely fine with it possibly ending.

With these signs, you can spot an unhealthy relationship and work towards making it more healthy. If you and your partner experience serious issues, it might be wise to seek the help of a couple’s counselor.

Read more: This is how you stop arguing about money with your partner

Source: Happy in Shape | Image: Unsplash, Henri Pham