Worried for the safety of their pets and themselves, Leo called a local veterinarian friend to ask for advice, eventually managing to safely transport one of the “sleeping” squirrels to the clinic for a quick diagnostic blood test. That evening, Leo walked over to Clara’s porch, holding his phone with an expression of pure, unadulterated bewilderment. The vet had just called back with the mind-boggling lab results.
“The animal isn’t sick, and it hasn’t been drugged with traditional toxins or tranquilizers,” Leo whispered, reading the text message. “The truth is, it’s profoundly, dangerously intoxicated. Its blood alcohol level is completely off the charts.” The revelation stunned them both. The malicious prank theory shifted in a much weirder direction. Now, they were convinced a local creep was intentionally leaving out massive bowls of high-potency liquor deep in the brush behind their houses.