Grief, Owen said, opens doors that survival keeps shut. When his father died two years ago, he had found himself wondering about things he had deliberately avoided for years. He began searching. He had written letters and made phone calls and followed procedures that turned out to be long and complicated and mostly unrewarding.
For nearly two years, he had received almost nothing useful. Then, three months ago, something shifted. A different kind of response arrived, referencing a family, an upcoming occasion. Shortly after that came Richard’s phone call. Owen said, “Your husband said—I think she’s ready. She just doesn’t know it yet.”